Unemployed

Yep, that's right, I got laid off on Wednesday at quitting time. Luckily for me they said to come back on the 24th of this month. It really came as a surprise to me though, I knew that things were slow but I didn't know that they were THAT bad. So sixty percent of us just got a week's enforced vacation.

So what have I been doing with my time you ask? Nothing, and I'm loving every minute of it. I singed up for unemployment on Thursday afternoon (thanks George) and I've been just relaxing around the house ever since.

I've been taking a room a day and cleaning it while the wife is at work. I told her not to worry about any housework while I'm laid off except for laundry. But for me cleaning the house isn't really work, not compared to hefting forty pound axles all day long.

The only bad thing for me is that I'd have liked to go see my dad in West Virginia while I'm off but the timing is bad. I'm almost out of my meds and I don't have a refill. I have to go to my doctor on the 19th to get one and by then I couldn't really go down there for more than three days.

Bummer, my Dad would have loved a week long visit if I could have managed it. Oh well, Stacey and I plan to go down there sometime late next month anyway so that will have to do.

My Fair Lady

Well, not much going on lately. Work is terribly slow, if it were not already a short work week I think we would only have enough work for four days anyway. This is not cool, makes for small paydays. :(

But rather than whine about my job woes I think I'll share a scene from one of my favorite movies, My Fair Lady. Enjoy.

Exhaustion

Hi folks, sorry I haven't posted in a day or two. The truth is I've just been too tired, both physically and mentally to put my thoughts into words. As you already know, last week my boss was on vacation so I had to cover for him. That is a week I hope to forget! Everything turned out well but it was so draining!

This week my boss is back but our work schedule has been hectic! With the automotive industry in it's unstable condition shops like mine are either feast or famine. Well this week it's definitely a feast! Were so busy that I'd venture to say that I'm doing more work in one day than I normally do in two!

This is good as far as job security is concerned but it's bad on my energy level. I'm not really that energetic of a person to start with and my job at normal levels leaves me very tired by the time two o'clock rolls around. I think it's harder for me because last week was so mentally stressful.

Anyway this morning I was just so drained that I couldn't face the day. I haven't missed a days work since my wife had surgery in May so I called in. I know that I shouldn't have done it but I just couldn't deal with that drama and workload today. I know, I'm a lazy butt.

Some of you may not know it but I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, called O.C.D. for short. It gets complicated to explain what it does to me specifically but one of the things it does is cause me to suffer from depression. Usually my medication takes care of this for me but sometimes I still get down. Now is one of those times. I think that it's partly because of how tired I am.

I'm not a people person at the best of times. When I'm struggling with depression or other aspects of my O.C.D. I just don't have the mental or emotional resources to deal with people at times. I think it's really the reason why I called off today.

Most of the employees at my work only speak Spanish and since I'm one of only three bilingual people there, when I'm not inspecting parts I'm usually translating for someone. Today that just seemed too demanding for me so I played hooky!

Speaking of my mental shortcomings, I had to go see my psychiatrist today. (See?! I really AM crazy!) I go and see her about every two months just to monitor that my meds are working properly. I told her about the depression and she also thinks that part of it's just my workload right now. Also she said that sometimes, no matter what meds I may be on, the depression just breaks through.

The hard part right now is my spiritual life. It's really hard to have faith when your outlook in general is already gone kaput. I don't really want to read my bible or pray. When I do, I feel condemned for my failures or I just feel numb and want to get it over with. I will continue to both read the Word and pray anyways however because I know that God is the only one who can pull me out of this funk. I've learned that sometimes when I don't feel any faith I have to just keep doing what I know is right until my feelings catch up with me. It's easier said than done but then most things that are important usually are.

Anyway, not to worry, just like a bad burrito that's setting too heavy on your stomach, this too shall pass. There's no need to worry about me, Stacey's doing a good job of keeping me laughing, but any of you that are believers know that I do covet your prayers.

Trusting God

An iteresting thing happened to my wife and I yesterday I want to tell you about.

I was layed off of work for the first two weeks of July. I didn't have any vacation time available to use for the extended time off so obviously that meant no pay for those two weeks. I suppose I could have tried to apply for unemployment but I was greatly distracted by a tooth ache at the time while trying to plan a trip to WV to see my dad.

So the way things worked out was that since we only get paid every two weeks at my shop, we have been about 5 weeks without a paycheck. My wife works as a nanny and we've been making due with her income but it's not enough what with gas prices so high and a mortgage to pay and such.

Last friday I began to get very frustrated with our situation. It feels like I'm working for nothing! I've been working the last 2 and a half weeks and were broke! I didn't want to say anything to my wife because I didn't want to burden her or maybe even start her worrying if she wasn't.

So last night Stacey came home from work in a bit of a mood and said almost exactly the same things to me that I had been feeling for the last week now. In some ways it was a relief to know I wasn't alone feeling this way. In another way it made me feel terrible! I feel like a failure as a provider because my wife has to be bothered with the money situation at all. I'm old fashioned and look at providing for the family monitarily as my responsibility.

I have no problem with Stacey working but I want it to be for her own personal gratification not because she has too. That's why I've already told her that as soon as we pay off the mortgage she can quit her job if she wants. Or look for something else she likes better and not worry about the pay rate.

Anyway I reminded Stacey that God would ultimately provide for us no matter what our work situations were. She said she already knew this and had just read that in the bible that morning during her devotional bible reading.

Well today she sent me a text message at work excited because she unexpectedly came into some extra funds! How's that for faithfulness? God knows our needs before we ask and already has provision for us.

Also, thank God, tomorrow is payday for me. I think things are going to continue to be tight for a few more weeks untill we get caught up on all the bills, but I really needed the added encouragement of God's help today.

Anyway I'm posting while on my lunch break, gotta go!