I read about this movie on the internet tonight and it slightly reminded me of myself. Christian Bale plays a CNC lathe operator with insomnia who fears that he may be going crazy.
Working midnights is really starting to wear me down. It's been three weeks or so and I'm a wreck. When I get home from work I can't go to sleep. My body thinks "hey it's daytime we're not supposed to be in bed!" Most days I can't drift off untill ten o'clock or so.
Then, once I get to sleep I simply cannot wake up! If left undisturbed by Stacey or the telephone I'll sleep ten or eleven hours untill it's time to get up and go to work again. Even if I've had plenty of sleep it's all I can do to drag myself out of bed.
I'm ALWAYS tired now. It's beginning to be that I am almost always in a bad mood and grouchy. The other night I went off on my wife for several minutes before I realized what I was doing and had to apologize. And it may sound silly but I find myself hating our dog Frankie. I simply do not have the patience to put up with him.
I'd say this is about how I feel right now.I can't say anything to my supervisor at work about this however, because working midnights is the only thing keeping me from being laid off. As most of you who read my blog already know, it's an extremely hard time to be looking for a job in Michigan these days. There's nothing out there unless you want to work for minimum wage.
So I'm stuck. I feel like I'm living life in slow motion but at the same time it seems like time is just flying by. Probably because I'm sleeping all the time I guess. I'm assuming that it will get better in time as my body becomes more accustomed to it's new sleeping schedule. I HOPE it does anyway.
Stacey has been such a sweetheart through all of this. She's been very forgiving of my moodiness and accepts my apologies so gracefully. She keeps telling me to not worry about it when I sleep all day and spend hardly any time with her. I thank God for giving me such a patient and loving wife. But the problem is that I miss the time with her also.
I'm so glad to see her when she gets home from work but I'm so sleepy that I'm lucky if I get an hour with her before dozing off.
So, anyway thanks for "listening" to me rant about my problems. Those of you that are believers just please keep us in prayer and I'll owe you guys one.
