Monday, September 15, 2008

Fatherhood?

Since most of those who read this blog also read that of my wife, Stacey, it should be known that I'm the proud papa of a bouncing baby boy!


Josiah James Kelley was born Saturday, September 13th 2008 at 3:22 a.m. He weighed six pounds and twelve ounces and was 20.75 inches long!

It was an extremely difficult labor and delivery for my wife Stacey, and I can honestly say that she went through it with a determination that blows me away! I am SO proud of her that I don't honestly know how to express it. She is the most wonderful wife a man could have and I love her more than she'll ever know. Yes, God has truly blessed me.

I find myself now in awe of the powerful feelings that grip me. I knew that I would love my new son, but I've never felt this strongly for anyone except my wife Stacey. He is the most beautiful and wonderful little boy I've ever seen. I can see my wife and I in his features as well as those of his grandparents.



At the same time, there's a part of me that's almost afraid of him! I fear that I can't keep up with the little guy's demands and meet his needs, and that intimidates me. How is it that one can experience such a mixed dichotomy of feelings?

I'm doing my best to embrace the overpowering love and protectiveness I feel for him while ignoring my fears and hoping they'll go away with time. I love this tiny squirming baby so much that I'd be willing to die for him. Every move he makes, every little gesture of expression that crosses his tiny face fascinates and thrills me. I am so in love with this little baby!

I probably sound like a fool, .............


I FEEL like a fool.

Anytime I was walking the halls of the hospital this weekend, I found myself fighting the urge to stop total strangers and tell them of this little wonder that God has put into my life.

Then, five minutes later, I'd be fighting down panic as I realized that I was now a parent. That it's up to me to be a father and provider to Josiah!

So I ask you, is this normal? Is this fatherhood?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the miracle of parenthood. You will learn as much from Josiah as he will from you. There are no words to express the emotions of being a parent -- but you did a heck of a good job in your post. Congratulations Daddy! ~~ Amy (oaks)

Rain said...

Well Cuz I can honestly say I know how your feeling, And I still to this day have fears that maybe I am not raising my girls right. But the question to me is what is right? I think we do everything we can to teach them right from wrong and we do all we can financially to support their physical needs and some wants and when the day comes for them to leave the nest we let them know the nest will always be here to come back to and we can only hope that they can fly on there own and live a better life then we have or had.

Unknown said...

Congratz on the baby m8! :)

Anonymous said...

Michelle says that your baby is SOOOO CUTE!!!! lol, and he was born the day before Ciara, her little one, lol.